道友请留部丶 发表于 2019-9-26 21:27   全显示 1楼
感觉这篇文章给人的感觉整体就比较混乱，前面给人的感觉像是日漫设定的魔法少女和触手的设定，在黑金丝雀被抓之后，又出现了关于神魔的设定，觉醒战姬的设定有点像是传统的日本轻小说，天神和魔族争斗的设定又像是游戏或者动漫，最后还出现了神奇女侠戴安娜，真的感觉有点乱。最后是男主的设定，感觉把他设定为拥有力量的男生会好一点
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +14 征文期间，双倍奖励！ 2019-9-27 08:04
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